Here, take it.

I felt such heartache today that I could hardly breathe.

I have been repressing my feelings for many reasons. Some days it works in keeping my mind sane. Other days, like today, it becomes impossible not to laugh a hearty laugh and to just enjoy the moment. To let that warm and fuzzy feeling linger a little bit longer.

When people are honest and genuine with me, I cannot help but to reciprocate. And when they take their time out to have a real conversation with me, I get really happy. So happy that I replay the conversation in my head and smile at the thought of it all.

And when it is with someone I am fond of, it brightens up my day.

It really does.

And then it upsets me. There are some feelings that I wish I could express but do not. Maybe it is just not the right time. Or maybe it is just a misunderstood feeling, one that I possibly have not quite figured out yet.

Whatever it is, it is staying put where it is. I am too chicken to say what is on my mind. Too afraid of the consequences.

How is it that I fear losing what that does not belong to me?

Pok pok pok.

Here's to Monday catch ups.