Spiral Staircases

I feel all over the place. I have been thinking too much. I woke up this morning at 5 and I was not able to put my mind back at ease.

I feel like I have not rested in days. I keep waking up in the middle of the night.

Thinking.

About everything.

And I feel so worn out.

Maybe, I am single for a reason. [Maybe] I am easily eraseable from one's life. Forgotten like crumbs off a fine loaf of bread.

But I am who I am. I am chummy. I do get comfortable with the people that I like and am fond of. I like to speak to people on a more personal level. And once my protective shell has been cracked open, I laugh a little louder, I smile a little more and I place a little more faith and trust.

So maybe I am not suited for relationships. Do not get me wrong, I love this life of being unattached.

I am just afraid that I am falling [again] for someone who is going to erase me out of his life just like that.

You know, sometimes you need to let go of the one you love. But what if letting go was one thing you should have never done. What if you were supposed to fight for it? Or at least have tried to?

So you will not have to do it again. Try again with someone else.

[insert histerical laughter here]

Talk about a lazy person's reason for staying in a relationship.

Okay, maybe I need to get some rest.

Here's to losing.