I am my own worst critic. A few days ago, I failed to see the support and love that I was surrounded with. All I could see were all these intelligent people and all I could feel was a jealous longing to be like them.
To know all.
I sometimes forget that I am still learning. That my experiences, tho built up over the years, still leave me with hundreds (if not thousands) of mistakes/unknown answers.
Sometimes I want so much to belong... to not taint people's image of me that I try too hard in pleasing people. And when I, in my mind, do not keep up with my expectations of thyself... I get ugly.
My shoulders literally slouch and my face suddenly becomes too heavy to lift a smile, my thoughts stirred with boiling hot criticism.
But I am thankful that it happened. Thankful for E and her encouraging words. Reminding me of the many blessings in my life.
When faced with a difficult situation or with uncertainty, we can only do so much. Sometimes we need to ask for help. And when we do, we must realise that it is not a sign of weakness but an acknowledgment and appreciation of the talents of those around us.
And there is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling incompetent. What really matters is the recognition of our earnest desire to do better. To achieve better results and to actively learn from others.
Here's to the true meaning of Easter.
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