Hidden

Sometimes I fear that my life is hanging by a thread. And I just keep lugging things on without realising how heavy they are.

I internalize.

Allow me to elaborate. Emotionally and mentally, I believe that I have got everything sorted but my body tells me otherwise.

It refuses to function past 6pm. My tummy roars in pain and I am curled up under my blanket wishing for tomorrow to be better.

My well-planned diary defines me. And while I look forward to hosting a girls' weekend, abseiling, watching a play, going to a rugby game [go me!], I silently whimper at not doing enough even when I know it is really too much.

I am in search of a new place. Not a metaphor this time. My lease is coming up and I need to find a place for me and my sibling before the lease ends later this month. And until I find THE place, I am feeling a lot of things but content.

Oh, cheer up Monnie. This is the exciting part. Where you get to pick and choose. And with every move comes a change in routine, which is always refreshing.

Let work take its rightful place and remain at work. But while you are there, have fun with it. Let go of the serious face. Relax those tense shoulders. Learn as much as you can but pace it out with time. Enjoy what you do and know that you have done well today.

Life is good.

Smile, things will get better.

Here's to understanding.