Great is He who listens

As I sit here in front of the computer, just about to pour my heart out in the form of a blog, the clock moves silently towards the hour of ten.

I feel like there is something in me that I have not realised. That there is something grand. Something big. Something that is beyond me.

Like a calling.

I cannot put a finger on it. I feel like with each day I am drawn closer to it. I am so near sometimes but I cannot see it.

And sometimes I am afraid of being ready. Ready to do whatever it is that I am meant to do. Afraid of letting it be.

I have been setting myself out of my comfort zone as of late. I have allowed myself to speak out. To voice my opinions. I have yet to get to the stage where that voice in my head [the critical one] does not lash out on me after.

I do not want to crawl back under my cave of comfort now that I have started this journey. I feel like I am meant to do something. Help others. Be a catalyst for change. To bring faith back to those who have lost hope. Whose voices have been held back.

I am so protective over people whose thoughts and voices have been squelched. But how do I help?

Ask and you shall receive.

I have learned from my niece the beauty of falling. Because when you have fallen so many times, you learn the art of falling. Of where to land. How to land. Your muscles learn to contract to help you with a softer landing. It becomes easier to pick yourself up after each fall. And it gets to a point where it [falling] no longer gets to you. And you can do the things you want to do without any inhibitions stopping you.

My niece was at the playground figuring out how to maneuver around a maze of ropes that was elevated off the ground. She was so careful and curious at the same time that she could not help but continuously push herself up on the ropes and attempt to walk by balancing on them. After about 20 minutes, her leg missed the rope and she fell through in the gap between the ropes.

And she laughed.

She realised then that the worst thing that could have happened was that her leg would fall through the gap. And it must have also occurred to her then that the ropes were not as high up above the ground as she had thought.

She climbed back up with such determination and focus that she took a good couple of steps before falling back and letting the ropes catch her. It was amazing watching the instant change in her approach to the maze of ropes.

How often do we let our mistakes be an immediate realisation of how little we have to lose? And thrill in the making of mistakes?

My niece just turned two yesterday. She is starting to pick up on words and is quick in figuring out puzzles and toys. Without sounding too much like a biased auntie, she is a smart kid. A personable one too with charm like none other. And she is so loving. And forgiving. And she has such a good memory too.

There is so much that we can learn from toddlers if we let ourselves to see through their eyes.

Here's to the clock now telling me to start my bedtime routine.