Gravity

The older I get, the more evident it becomes that I am an introvert. As much as I dislike being labelled or placed into a category, I can no longer disagree that I do things that an introvert does. Perhaps not to the tee but it explains a lot about why I do the things that I do.

I have always found healing and comfort in writing. While it evolved into blogging in my teenage years, it never ceased to calm me after I have been able to express myself non-verbally.

And when I write, I prefer to be in a quiet setting. With space around me. Either that or with music playing in the background. Set at the right volume. And playing a song that I feel like listening to.

Usually I take a minute or two, sitting in contemplation... until a tune or lyric comes to mind.

Thrown into a different setting, with escalated or animated voices, my own emotions escalate and emulate my surroundings. I feel my chest tighten and my stomach build up acid. But my voice remains calm and collected. My body, aghast to my insides, appears relaxed and unaffected.

I went to try out Nia today. When Grace invited me, it did not take me long to decide that I wanted to go. Simply because it is fun to try out new things. And especially with Grace. But I was not expecting Nia to have the effect that it did on me.

For the first time, I moved like no one was watching. And I did not feel pressured to follow the steps. In fact, the choreography was free styled which meant that there was no right or wrong move. The only move that you were to make was the move that your body felt like making.

I could feel my body unwind and with each step that I took, I was able to feel the music and allowed my body to move as it wished. I realised then that this was a new territory for me. Deciding where I wanted to be next.

It was me. Dancing for myself. Without any boundaries.

At the end of the dance, I laid on the ground and noticed cobwebs at the corner of the ceiling. I was fascinated by my new discovery. I get so caught up in my thoughts that I am hardly ever present in my body. I lose observation and see things that I choose to see. But I was there, in the room and I was taking in all that was around me. It felt amazing.

I do things. And I respond quite succinctly to people. I am here, there and everywhere. Except for really being here. I realised this some time back. Like when I went to America for the first time, the weeks went by and it was only when I was back in Perth that I realised that I was in America.

It is the same with pictures. Sometimes pictures have more significance to me than it does to the experience itself. I will look back at pictures and it is only then when I really cherish and understand the significance of the moment.

Funny, back in the days I used to bottle thoughts up and let them explode in the form of a blog. And now that I have Gene, I have learned to verbalise my thoughts and have been able to unwind in that manner. I feel that I am one step closer to being more grounded.

The mind is a powerful creature. It can unleash the greatest ideas but it can also destroy you with a flip of a coin.

It is so important to look after that material between the ears. To recognise what it truly feels and to allow yourself to immerse into whatever situation you are placed with. No matter how hard or painful it is. For it is through imbalance that we find true balance.

To timeless opportunities.