love or understanding or both?

I have heard that true love comes when one puts the another's needs before their own.

Like when you are arguing or are of differing opinions, to put your need to be heard second and to put the other person's need to be heard first.

I narrow my eyes [smaller than they normally are] at that thought.

Are we not meant to start from within? Where we are able to stand for ourselves and be still. To look after ourselves first before we look after ours.

Or do we spend our lives putting others first and then our needs will fall into place.

Or is it a mix between the two. Where we allow ourselves to open up our thoughts so we can see the bigger picture. But what if the conclusion leads you to the same path that you would have taken, or preferred to have taken?

I have not found the right answer. I feel like I am always fighting both with myself and with others to reach a state of understanding. Why can it not be easier? Maybe I need to be a little more realistic with my expectations.

Maybe if we stop worrying about what others might think and really question what we think... maybe, that is the answer that we have been looking for. Or at least, the path that will lead us to where we should be.