Misgivings

I believe that the happiest people are also the ones who have been through much hardship and strive in life to get to where they are. And it is a constant journey for them to continue to do what they do.

Being able bodied, I really should not have much to concern myself with. But I do. I stare down at my flabby tummy and think of ways that I can restart a healthy lifestyle and get myself into shape. Truth be told, that is the least of my concerns because I am happy enough to have a fully functioning body.

I worry a lot about what people think of me. About how I conduct myself, about the things I say or write and how I am judged upon. It is silly I know. But it is the reality of what keeps me up at night sometimes.

While we cannot change the perceptions of others, we can certainly change ourselves. Or if not for change, we can be mindful of the repercussions of our actions and words. To assess whether it reflects our own values and beliefs and whether we can stand by them [actions and words].

Without being too harsh on ourselves of course. We do not always have the answers to remedy a situation. And sometimes we say things that we do not have a solid stance on. We say things that come off the top of our head when we are placed in an awkward or challenging position. Perhaps those are our true thoughts being conveyed. Or perhaps we have not really thought it through and the thought being conveyed by ourselves is still in its raw form. Yet to be polished and defined.

It is a start. To be aware of the evolution of our thoughts and to be kind to ourselves during the process.

In saying that, I wish that words would come flourishingly out of my head for unexpected situations. To know how to handle negativity and fix things. But I suppose all that plays out over the course of time.

Maybe it is time to simply be. December is coming. I am excited!