Depicting the current state of mind

This is going to be a happy post.

I am happy. 30 has never been happier.

I feel closer to the here and now these days. And I am becoming more aware of how my emotional and mental self works.

It calms me. Staying focused calms me greatly.

Speaking the truth frees/liberates me. I pause and think. Then, with candidness, I speak. And move towards where minds meet.

I am beginning to see the bigger picture. And I am making brave and bold statements next to it.

I have a few songs in my head for our wedding day. I am [insert *deep breath* here] getting married. To the man I am madly in love with. And have decided to commit to for the years to come.

Sometimes it is good to be "slow" and unconventional. I do not always view the world the way others view it. And most certainly not in the same time and space. It takes a long time for things to sink in. And because it takes time, things do not feel real to me until a long time after. And it is enthralling/fascinating each time it becomes more real. It is like owning something new but still feeling like it is new months or even years after you first own it.

I float. My mind floats. I recognise it when it does. I know when I am not feeling connected to my surroundings. When there is too much on. My mind does what it does to deal with it, to stay afloat. That is when I stop. I stop to take in the moment for what it is. Realise what is happening. Then I drop the anchor. My senses come alive. And I take charge.

I know I get distressed easily too. And it upsets me greatly when I see what I was unable to achieve. But then I also realise, with time, that I will be better prepared next time. Even if it takes me a million tries, I know I can break through my age-old habits and change my ways.

It feels so good to be connected.