Take for example, our decision to finally own a dog. A puppy to be precise. After over a year of heated debate over whether we should have one [mainly with me needing the convincing], we found ourselves meeting with a lady who linked prospective buyers with breeders on gumtree, to choose between two yellow labradors.
It took just a few minutes before we both agreed on the chubby and placid puppy on the right as AJ held up both puppies for us to get a better look at them. The same one who gave me the saddest puppy dog eyes as I almost decided on the cheeky one on the left who peed on my hands.
And in the first week, the both of us struggled as [first] dog owners. We were constantly daunted with questions like, "what have we done??" and "have we done the right thing??". Ralphie was great in the first few hours of us meeting him as he played and fell asleep in front of the air-con in the back seat.
Then came the crying and barking at the night. To the peeing and pooing in the house. I would wait standing with him for about an hour outside and as soon as we stepped in the house, he decided it was the right time to go to the "toilet".
The frustration levels went up a notch as the lack of sleep caught up with us and as we continued to relentlessly clean the house after him. Add to this the fact that Ralphie had to be home bound until 14 weeks of age after his 12 week vaccinations kicked in [otherwise we would risk killing him with a parvo virus that puppies were prone to] and he was full of energy, biting everything in his path even when he had multiple chew toys around the house.
We watched numerous youtube training on puppies. Spent close to $1k in the first week of having him on vet packages, toys, treats, food, more treats and doggy accessories. Gene and I argued. Laughed, Lamented on the ups and downs. I admit, I cried when we had to consider giving him away because he had been so difficult to deal with and had completely turned our lives [and house] upside down.
But I loved this [then] 6.2 kilo[ed] pup. I loved him to bits. I loved his cuddles. Loved how much he loved us even though we were alien giants to him. Loved the way he slept. The way he looked at us. Loved how friendly he was.
I was sucked in.
On his third or was it his fourth night... we brought him along with us in the car to Becky's place for dinner. He stayed in the backyard with his bed, drink and food bowl. And for the first time that night, he learned to distinguish the backyard from the house and used the doggy door at home to go outside to do his business. He still has a few accidents inside the house but gone were the days of indoor number twoseys.
After his first puppy class, we learned that he did not need the lights on at night which was a few weeks after we had him and he slept through the night for the first time.
Gene has been a great fur daddy and I have never seen him so patient with anyone or anything before. He still gets upset with Ralphie at times, as do I, but he makes an effort to understand Ralphie better. Even when he has chewed through his own bed and fly-screen [twice] amongst other things, poo-ed and peed in the car, bitten his face, ear, hands and legs, licked all over his face causing his face to redden in allergic reaction...
Ralphie graduated from 4 weeks of training last night. He has had a girlfriend called Honey, successfully completed an obstacle course and showcased his newly found skills like rolling over. And he actually has a certificate to show for it.
I shake my head as I recollect the last 7 weeks with Raphie, our fur baby.
Speaking of which, we brought him to a cafe called Fur Baby yesterday. Lo and behold, they have a cafe fully dedicated to cats and dogs. So we sat there, in and amongst other dog owners, having coffee and cake. It is so crazy.
We are now part of this pseudo dog community where dog owners casually strike up conversations and know each other by their dog's names. Admittedly my preferred "friends" of Ralphie are Franky and Harvey as they are both equally as active and excitable as the lil fur man. And their owners are easy to talk to.
What is happening!? [insert internal laughter here]
I used to think of myself as one with big dreams and aspirations but equally as a failure. When it came to the doing, I tended to fail at achieving and following through. Over the course of time, I have learned to work hard for what I wanted. And to accept that there are things that do not ever come easy. It takes a lot of belief, trust and energy to get to the other side and [in time - noting this could be over a few years] once you are there, you work even harder not to forget how you got there or why because you want so much to still be you, to know who you are at the end of it all.
To reassess and reflect upon each experience, not losing the fabric of your [perceived] existence and to be thankful for the hard lessons learned. To feel good about what you have and to continue to reach out and be the bigger person [even when your ego tells you otherwise].
My life to date has been a constant push and pull. Push to be heard. Pull back to listen [then worrying that I have not been really listening]. Push with belief that you are doing what is right. Pull back when you realise you need a change of course. Push when you have been hit with bad news but you need to stay positive. Pull when you have to make backup plans. Push when you see people with potential around you. Pull when you need to let go and let them grow themselves.
And I continue to be surrounded by the best picks of society. People who continue to uplift me when I am down (literally coming to save me without the intention of doing so), people who love me for who I am and people who support me. I have a long list of people that I am grateful for, both family and friends and friends who are like family to me.
I imagined the start of this post to have explained what could have transpired as I typed away but I guess it just burst out of my sub-conscious state into where I needed it to be. My life pieces together and makes a lot more sense when I have the time to stretch out my brain wires and inspect every fiber of it.
I can feel my tummy now that my mind has been untangled.
To the guitar that sits in our living room, may I play you one day.
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